The Daytrip to Nowheresville

Last post I mentioned the likelihood of someone attending a trip to a phone recycling plant in South Wales on a Friday afternoon being quite low. On a similar tip there are plenty of places that a central London-based journo is unlikely to bother going. Heathrow might be a convenient meeting point for your client, but it holds little allure for yours truly. Ditto Reading, ditto Doncaster, in fact ditto just about everywhere outside Zone 1. Unless, of course, it’s a plane ride away to somewhere cool sounding and involves an overnight stay.

Here’s a sorry story about a PR who thought the news was good enough on its own to drum up journalistic interest:

The corporate comms manager at my wife’s organisation thought a piece of positive news being announced at a launch would be good enough to drag journalists away from the comfort of their desks. The misapprehension may have come about due to the fact that the organisation is a charity, so is staffed by peopled that think beyond the boundaries of their own existence. They care deeply about something that most people (including most journalists) don’t even know exists as a problem. They would travel half way around the world for this sort of thing and they’d do it out of their own pocket. Unfortunately, they also assume that other people would feel the same if only they would open their eyes.

The PR sent a press release to trade and the nationals that the charity was launching a new initiative. The press release pretty much ticked all the boxes in terms of being Bad PR. The opening sentence mentioned a vague sounding launch. The next two hundred words described the charity and why it’s important. Then there was about the same amount of space devoted to the initiative itself. The time and location of the launch were tagged on at the end. The location was not a fancy restaurant or a pub, or a zoo, or indeed anywhere that sounded fun, it was a school in the Home Counties.

“What do you think?” I was asked the day before the launch, after the press release had been issued.
“I don’t think anyone will turn up,” I said.
“Why not?”
“Why should they?”
“Because it’s really important …[there followed quite long explanation about the vital work that the charity does] …and so journalists should be interested. It’s a real story.”
“But it says all that on the release.”
“They can meet the CEO and some of the people involved.”
“They don’t want to.”
“Why not?”
“They don’t care.”

No one went.

In fairness, the missus is not a PR, and she was not involved in the issuance of the release, so none of this is her fault.

First, up at the top of the announcement should have been the words FREE and DAYTRIP. It’s not that we don’t like leaving the office for a jolly, but when we have to make our own arrangements it starts to get tricky. I know it’s not actually tricky to find out where something is, buy a train ticket, get yourself lunch and charge it all back to the firm, but it’s a hassle. Why would a journalist go to all that trouble when he could be sitting down checking his emails and drinking tea?

Second, there should have been mention of some nice lunch and some of the booze.

Third, don’t offer up the CEO, no one cares that he’s the CEO apart from you, him and his wife (even then, it’s debatable whether you or his wife care), bring him along and give him strict instructions to keep the chat light, unless he’s actually asked a searching question.

Fourth, if it is outside London, say you’ll send a cab to their flat and take them to the train station whereupon they will be met by a PR or if you think your jolly is good enough, just tell them to be at the station to meet the PR.

TOP TIP #1. Never set the time of the meet earlier than the journalist would normally be in the office unless you’re taking them somewhere really good. Tell them a PR will shepherd them around and make sure they’re back in London by 4:00, which is too late to go back to the office, but early enough for a quick drink if the day has gone well. If your budget extends, make it an over-nighter.

TOP TIP #2. Any of a daytrip’s perks should probably be emphasised in a light-hearted ring round. Don’t mention the news much during the ring round unless asked about it or unless it is earth shatteringly interesting—and not much is. If you don’t believe me, phone up your grandma or your uncle and tell them about the news and see how long it takes them to get bored out of their mind.

TOP TIP #3. Hassle free daytrips are more important than your news; free lunch and the booze are more important than the news; having a lie-in and getting home early are more important than the news. Bear in mind at all times that it doesn’t matter how important your client thinks the news is, journalists think the most important types of news are the very things you never want them to find out.