A chat with the VP of Product Marketing? No thanks

For busy trade journalists trying to do a half-decent job, speaking to the Vice President of Product Marketing from Widget Company Ltd is about as appealing as root canal surgery. For not-so-busy trade journalists and for those not so dedicated, the appeal is clearly less.

Not to put too fine a point on it, the VP of Product Marketing, in the eco-system of company employees that self-respecting journos would want to speak to, is plankton.

The clues are in the job title: products and marketing.

And while I have come across many VPs and even some SVPs of Product Marketing, I have never run into a straight P of Product Marketing. At least not when it means President. Another reason, I think, for the discerning hack to view this rank of employee with suspicious and scornful eyes. There is absolutely no kudos in being a VP of anything, particularly when everyone from the office cat downwards is called it.

So why (oh why) do so many PR people sully their profession by offering a chat with Roger and Carl (common names among the VP of Product Marketing fraternity) when it’s going to do nobody any good?

It comes back to the bums-on-seats mentality of Bad PR. The more journos ticked off the list for Roger (or Carl) to speak to, the better they think they are doing their jobs and the happier they think their client will be.

“No, we can’t get the CEO to speak to you about the announcement but we have Roger,” chirps the Bad PR. “He is available to speak to you at any time.”

I bet he is, the poor bastard. Not only has his own company given him a wholly unenviable job to do but the Bad PR firm, because Roger is so easy to get hold of, has no qualms about volunteering him for a 5.00 am conference call his time to speak to us London-based hacks. (It is a well-known fact that all VPs of Product Marketing are based in America.)

OK, there are some exceptions when it might just about be acceptable to speak to Carl (or Roger). To do a bit of background research, perhaps, on a genuinely significant product development in the industry. Or maybe because the journo, out of idle curiosity, wants to know what the weather is like on the East (or West) coast at 5.00 am in the morning.

The plain truth is you are more likely to get a sexual thrill from reading annual reports than finding something Roger (or Carl) said worth quoting. This is mainly because VPs of Product Marketing, despite all their overt enthusiasm, are more reticent than Widget Company’s press releases about giving away any information that might be remotely useful.

“I don’t think we can name any customers at this stage, can we?” asks Roger to the half-asleep Bad PR person on the conf. call, drowsy because he/she thinks the job is already done by setting up the ‘interview’ in the first place. “No, not apart from the ones that are already in the public domain,” responds the Bad PR, trying in vain to match the enthusiasm levels of Roger.

I can imagine it must be difficult for PR firms to get hold of top management for interviews at short notice. That I can appreciate. What I don’t appreciate is being offered a chat with Roger or Carl as if they were acceptable replacements. “Ooh, you’ll like Roger,” coos the Bad PR account manager. “He’s been in the industry for a long time and can talk about general trends as well.”

This is a waste of everybody’s time.