Anyone for coffee?

Anyone who works in telco, more specifically mobile comms, will refer to this time of year as "that time of year again". It's code among the cellco brethren, nothing more needs to be said. Sometimes the phrase is accompanied by a slight sigh of resignation.

The industry's biggest trade show happens annually in February, most (honest) people approach the show with a mixture of fear and trepidation. You have to be there, but you don't want to. Like root canal surgery without the benefits.

There is one upside to the Mobile World Congress, it usually overlaps Valentine's Day, thus giving all who attend an instant get of jail free card with the missus. Sadly, this year, not even that silver lining exists.

Like counting the rings of a fallen tree to assess its age, you can tell how many shows someone has been to by the number of deep lines furrowed across his brow. The show is the biggest of its kind for the cellular industry. Effectively, a small town consisting of tech vendors will camp in Barcelona for a week. It's like Glastonbury, only the toilets are worse.

The show, like all trade shows, is billed as a fantastic networking opportunity. Everyone will be there. It's for precisely this reason that the show is an absolute nightmare for networking. Everyone runs around from meeting to meeting, usually hungover and desperately wanting not to be there. Hands are shook, faces clocked, and names forgotten almost as soon as they're given, business cards are stuffed into bags to be left in your hotel room when you check out vowing to never come again.

Getting PR right at the show is a challenge, getting it wrong is all too common. All good fodder for Bad PR.

One simple thing you can do to improve your chances of getting journos in front of your client is host your meeting at a sensible time. The trouble is, time is a precious commodity at the show...which could be the reason that one American tech giant has decided to hold its press briefing at 7am.

Seven. A. M.

Not only that, it's the day after the Nokia party.

Maybe they're hoping to catch people on their way home. The post-club Nokia crowd, all glow sticks and whistles. I doubt it though, it's more likely that this has been a From High command delivered by a Chino slacked, Blackberry holstered, guy called Chuck, who knows nothing about how European journalists operate.

When in Barcelona do as the Catalans do Chuck, get up at a normal time, have a productive morning by all means, but the only thing happening at 7am should be your arm reaching over to press snooze button on your alarm. Get yourself a nice long lunch booked, have a nap in the afternoon, then pootle about for a bit pretending to work before decamping to the bar for a few beers. Have a nice dinner to make up for all the ham and cheese sandwiches you've eaten during the day, then spend the rest of the night drinking Coke mixed with red wine. Be careful on your way home walking up La Rambla, that girl approaching you is more interested in the contents of your wallet than the contents of your pants.

Do not, under any circumstances, organize a dull sounding meeting at 7am the day after a big party (or any other day, if we're being honest) no one will come.