The numbers up

I’ve long suspected that I suffer from some sort of number-based dyslexia. I was crap at maths at school. Forever getting dumped into the bottom class and forever fluffing exams.

It wasn’t as though I didn’t try. Despite almost always failing maths exams first time around, I ended up passing everything I needed in the end. Don’t get me wrong, I never passed with flying colours, but I did enough to prove to friends, my parents, teachers and university entrance boards that I wasn’t a complete mathematical halfwit.

My slow and uncomfortable slide up the UK’s slippery poll of academia culminated with my getting a BEng (Hons) from Nottingham University. Me, an engineer, go figure. Maybe I’m not actually completely crap at maths after all.

All that was a long time ago though, and I’m still pretty sure that I’ve got some sort of number dyslexia.

Numbers tend to bamboozle me. When I listen to someone calling out a number, usually a telephone number, I often write it down incorrectly. I routinely punch in wrong telephone numbers from business cards or websites. When I copy numbers, I get the order mixed up. The mobile phone address book saved my social life.

Maybe I’m in a minority. That said, there is one crime that tends to crop up in the world of voice mails that I’m pretty sure other people find annoying. Even people good with numbers.

I listen to all of my voice mails (and I get plenty), even if I don’t respond to every single one. But here’s a tip that will increase your chances of getting me to call back. Tell me your name at the beginning, then tell me your number. Remember that those are the two most valuable pieces of information in the voice mail. You might even like to tell me your number again at the end of the voice mail just to make sure I got it.

Do not, under any circumstances, leave a long, rambling, message and then rattle off your telephone number like a livestock auctioneer on speed.

Actually, don’t leave long, rambling, messages.

Just leave your name and number at the beginning, then a few pertinent details, then your number again.

I know that you know how to say your telephone number quickly, and I also know that saying it quickly, particularly at the end of a long ramble, is very annoying.

If I have to listen to a message twice or more to get your number, I don’t need to hear all the info again, so if you’re a compulsive speed talker just say your number twice after the beginning of the voice mail.