Calling to tell a journalist you'll be sending them a press release is only ever irritating. Yet it's common, it's all too common, and it's totally f*cking pointless. It does not mean that when the journo sees the press release that they're more likely to notice it among the millions of others, it means they know they don't even have to look at it in the preview window.
As I type these words, minutes after putting the phone down, the time is 11:34. Apparently, an obscure IT company is going to be issuing a press release at 1pm folks. Yep, 1pm the news will break!!!!
HOLD THE FRONT PAGE.
That's right, in about an hour and a half an obscure IT firm will release a press release unto the world at large......
The call I took was offering me a peak into the future. Jeesh, wow, no need for a crystal ball either. The PR was offering me 90 minutes of advance warning.
I work on a magazine. I know the printers and distributors can manage a quick turnaround when pushed, but to be totally honest, there's not much chance that I'd get the 'news' out into the world before 1pm today, so this particular generous offer wasn't especially exciting.
Showing posts with label telephone pitch. Show all posts
Showing posts with label telephone pitch. Show all posts
Thursday, 23 October 2008
Wednesday, 9 July 2008
Friday, 4 July 2008
Bedtime Stories
The last time I needed anything reading to me out loud was when I was three or four and I couldn't read for myself. And that was a long time ago. Three decades, if you must know. So I'm buggered if I'm going to sit on the end of the telephone listening to a bored junior account manager reading in monotone from a piece of paper describing a technology that they clearly don't understand and in which I am almost certainly not interested. Especially on a sunny Friday afternoon when I've only got one hour and 38 minutes left to run on my weekly sentence. One hour and 37 minutes now.
When will these people learn that it takes real skill to read something in such a way as to disguise the fact that you're reading it. Especially when the text is along the lines of the following:
“Have you got a minute to talk about my client? They’re kind of a leading Internet application performance management company. They provide automated intelligent diagnostics for web applications and web site performance problems. They’ve just launched the Performance Analyzer, which provides unparalleled diagnostic insight and for the first time prescribes specific, real-time actions for restoring peak performance in web-deployed environments.”
I don't know what that means, and neither do you. So let's stop messing around. Stick to topics you understand if you're going to phone me up. Otherwise it's disappointing and embarrassing for both of us. Like a night I once spent in a hotel room in Milan. Uggh. Still gives me the shivers. I'd have preferred a bed time story.
One hour and thirty minutes.
When will these people learn that it takes real skill to read something in such a way as to disguise the fact that you're reading it. Especially when the text is along the lines of the following:
“Have you got a minute to talk about my client? They’re kind of a leading Internet application performance management company. They provide automated intelligent diagnostics for web applications and web site performance problems. They’ve just launched the Performance Analyzer, which provides unparalleled diagnostic insight and for the first time prescribes specific, real-time actions for restoring peak performance in web-deployed environments.”
I don't know what that means, and neither do you. So let's stop messing around. Stick to topics you understand if you're going to phone me up. Otherwise it's disappointing and embarrassing for both of us. Like a night I once spent in a hotel room in Milan. Uggh. Still gives me the shivers. I'd have preferred a bed time story.
One hour and thirty minutes.
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