You must be JoeKinn Ear!!!!

Today's sport pages have been filled with tales of Joe Kinnear, newly installed interim manager of Newcastle Football Club and latest owner of the most poisoned chalice in Britain, bar Gary Glitter's new PR man.

Joe let loose with a toxic tirade of obscene abuse at his weekly press conference with national and local journalists. Transcripts show his opening salvo as follows:

JK: Which one is Simon Bird [Daily Mirror's north-east football writer]?

SB: Me.

JK: You're a cunt.

SB: Thank you.

The barbed exchanges continue for a while before the Newcastle press officer feels inclined to utter the immortal line - "What has been said in here is off the record and doesn't go outside".

Kinnear does not seem bothered about what is on or off the record, imploring journalists to "write what you like" and that it "makes no difference to me".

However, as the press conference degenerates further, the press officer steps in again.

Press officer: Let's get on to football. Let's have an agreement that everything said so far, if anyone has got their tapes on, it's wiped off and we're not discussing it.

Journalist: But that's what Joe has said he thinks of us.

Press Officer: Come on, let's go football.

Journalist: What are your plans for training in the next three days? How's the training going?

JK: It's going very well. No problems at all.

Journalist: Enjoyed getting back in the swing of things?

JK: Absolutely. I've loved every moment of it.

Now this must be a PR's nightmare, when their charge goes off on a foul-mouthed and personally abusive tirade and, given an opportunity to retract his words, even apologise, digs his obscene heels in further. It is enough to make you realise why a PR in that position would insist on quote checks and approval, lest the abuse is made public.

However, this is an exceptional circumstance with a man (Joe Kinnear) clearly under enormous stress and taking this out on the assembled journalists. It is not some unexciting, back-office, operations guy talking guardedly about transaction costs analysis and workflow efficiencies. So don't ask to see the quotes in advance. You were on the call, remember? You were the one making heavy breathing noises and tapping on your keyboard while we were trying to have a conversation. Remember now? And do you remember your client calling me a cunt? No? That's because he didn't. In fact he didn't say much at all.

These incessant quote checking demands have to stop. On occasion I have sent the PR's the whole transcript of the conversation, including the opening pleasantries concerning the weather. But while this is pleasingly irritating for the PRs it also means more work for me. On other occasions I have made stuff up just to see if they are actually checking the quotes but this does my reputation no good at all. And on other occasions I have genuinely forgotten and the quotes have gone in as is. And, believe it or not, the world kept turning, no-one lost their job and no-one got sued for defamation.

Now and again an interviewee will say something genuinely interesting, spontaneous and slightly controversial. The end of the conversation comes and you are praying there will be no quote request. You're getting to the goodbyes, you're almost out of there when it comes...."Can we see the quotes before it goes to press?" Bah. I do what I'm told and back come the quotes with all the life, interest and controversy red-penned to death. Why oh why oh why do I bother?